


Tin Foil Gear Solid - Twin Pranks

by Volkihars



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Gen, Himbo Snake, again like. Who is surprised, but thats just canon huh, prank au, weeaboo otacon, why does liquid talk like that - freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 06:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19806583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volkihars/pseuds/Volkihars
Summary: “So, I know it’s been a while, dear brother. But I desire to wrap all of your beloved’s belongings in tin foil, so I may inconvenience him to the greatest degree. May you lend me your key so I may pull this jest? I do not want to break in, believe it or not.”





	Tin Foil Gear Solid - Twin Pranks

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this came from an rp with Neil @extremepcuser on tumblr. Neil also helped edit (bless).

Liquid Snake approached his twin’s door, brandishing a tote bag with a cartoon praying mantis on it. Contained within it were approximately a dozen rolls of tin foil. Eli desperately wanted to play a Quality Prank on Otacon, as the weeaboo was out of town, and the only person who had the key to Hal’s place was Snake. So, unfortunately, here he was, in the morning sun, coming up with ways to pitch this epic prank to his less than epic brother.

He rung the doorbell, and within a minute, his favorite twin was in front of him. “Here we go”, Liquid thought to himself. Talking with his brother always felt like a chore to some extent, but he chalked that up to his hatred of his father more than any actual bad aspects of the man.

“Why are you here at 9am, bastard?”  
Dave sounded groggy, and the bags under his eyes confirmed it. Liquid produced a roll of foil from the mantis bag.

“So, I know it’s been a while, dear brother. But I desire to wrap all of your beloved’s belongings in tin foil, so I may inconvenience him to the greatest degree. May you lend me your key so I may pull this jest? I do not want to break in, believe it or not.”

It took a second for Dave to process this ridiculously flowery speech, and even then he was still confused.  
“Hrng… Why would you want to do that?”  
“It is a prank.”  
“A prank?” Snake repeated.  
“Yes, Snake. It is defined as a practical joke or mischievous act resulting in humiliation or inconvenience.” Liquid spoke with an air of annoyance, as he expected Snake knew what a prank was.

“Inconvenience? So, you trick someone. Why do you need tin foil for that?”  
“Well, I shall wrap all of his possessions in foil, so he will be inconvenienced indeed, as he will have to rip through it all.”  
“So, he would be inconvenienced, huh?”  
“Yes, brother! You are finally getting it. I knew you had it in you. Would you kindly borrow me your key so that I may jape your lovely boyfriend?”

Snake crossed his arms. “No. You were inconvenienced by purchasing tin foil at the early hours of the morning, no? So I just pranked you, huh?” He spoke the word “pranked” with an odd kind of inflection, one of half certainty and half confusion, in true Snake fashion.

“You misunderstand me. A prank is an intentional sabotage of someone’s time and energy, unlike me simply purchasing some foil. Please let me prank him.” Liquid bristled a little at the suggestion that his brother had unintentionally pranked him.

“Hm. So, if I were to hide this key,” He held Otacon’s key up, “That would be a prank, then!”

Dave tucked the key into the bushes beside him, the covered base a bright red, the cartoonish locks of what, an anime hacker? Upon slightly closer inspection, the numbers “707” were on it.  
Liquid briefly wondered what anime it was from, but decided to drop it.  
“You seem more like our bastard father every day. True to your roots, you disregard the art behind pranks. It is more than a simple inconvenience at times, it is a piece of performance art about the interaction between man and nature, and the power of the jester and the revenge of the jested.”

Again, Liquid had spoken in a way that was very difficult to process, the unnecessary classiness of his words combined with his gross use of hyperbole made it yet more confusing. “Performance art,” he finally said, “So it’s a skill you need to acquire?”

“It is and it is not, brother. Some pranks take a lot more physical exertion than others, for example. If you were to blow up enough balloons to fill an apartment, that would obviously be harder on your body than a bucket over door type prank. But if you were short with godly lungs, the balloon one may be easier for you.”

“Ah.” he moved closer to the key, attempting to rest his arm on the handrail but yanking his arm back after feeling its nuclear hot surface.

“I consider my prank of choice on this fine day to be around mid tier in skill, as it is definitely time consuming yet it doesn’t require much technical skill unless you are wrapping something like a hexagonal prism.”

Dave thought for a second before making his decision. He reached over and picked the anime key up from the bushes. “Hrm. Go ahead. Maybe you’ll become an expert, too.” He said sleepily, his eyes bleary and glazed over, the man obviously not wanting to be up this early. He handed it over to his brother.

Liquid’s relief was visible. “Thank you, Snake. I will return this to you later today. In the meantime, perhaps you’d like to prant Adamska? I’m aware Miller has the key, and you two are pretty close, no?” Liquid turns around and walked over to Hal’s place, examining the characteristically weeby key. Mystic Messenger, huh? A dating sim, right? He hoped that Otacon hadn’t played it for lack of actual romance in his life, because despite being a kind of flaky nerd, he did deserve great things. Like having everything in his house wrapped in tin foil.

He turned the key and entered Hal’s wonderfully air conditioned apartment, a sweet release from the sun beating down on him when he had to explain what fucking pranks were to his shitty better than him bastard brother. He managed to wrap everything in that room with tin foil, including a… rather interesting mousepad. You put your hand… between an anime boy’s asscheeks? He didn’t want to know. He wrapped it as vaguely as possible, avoiding directly touching it for his own mental safety as well as his squeamishness.

After he had finished wrapping the (rather grotesque) apartment, he stepped out and locked the door. He walked over to Dave’s place and dropped it into his mailbox. He would legitimately, unironically rather die than spend another hour talking to Solid in the heat.

Little did Liquid know, he had started a prank war for the ages.


End file.
